Mark Twain Quotes - SimplyNeo Quotes

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." - Mark Twain quotes, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes

" The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money."

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Friendship Life

" Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more."

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" Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done."

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"December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, Aprll, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February."

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Meme/Funny Quote

" The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet."

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" The inventor of their heaven empties into it all the nations of the earth, in one common jumble. All are on an equality absolute, no one of them ranking another; they have to be "brothers"; they have to mix together, pray together, harp together, hosannah together--whites, niggers, Jews, everybody--there's no distinction. Here in the earth all nations hate each other, and every one of them hates the Jew. Yet every pious person adores that heaven and wants to get into it. He really does. And when he is in a holy rapture he thinks he thinks that if he were only there he would take all the populace to his heart, and hug, and hug, and hug! "

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" There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself."

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" If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value."

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" It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races."

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" No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests."

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" The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven."

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Happiness Positive

" Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

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Friendship Life

" What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Who was it who said, "Blessed is the man who has found his work"? Whoever it was he had the right idea in his mind. Mark you, he says his work--not somebody else's work. The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. Cursed is the man who has found some other man's work and cannot lose it. When we talk about the great workers of the world we really mean the great players of the world. The fellows who groan and sweat under the weary load of toil that they bear never can hope to do anything great. How can they when their souls are in a ferment of revolt against the employment of their hands and brains? The product of slavery, intellectual or physical, can never be great."

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" Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain."

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" Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth."

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" To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times."

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" To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself...Anybody can have ideas--the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph."

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" There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy."

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" There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence."

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" Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide."

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" Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination."

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" I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice."

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" Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

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" Many public-school children seem to know only two dates--1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion."

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" It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

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" Happiness is a Swedish sunset -- it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it."

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" To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours."

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" Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."

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" All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten."

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